W1-D7 : I can't be trusted.

This first week has passed and I truly feel like I've learned so much.  Most of all, I've learned with the passage above that I'm not alone in my struggle.  People have been struggling since the beginning of time and my own faults are nothing new or spectacular to God. 

Romans 7:14-25 is simply amazing.  I chose to read out of The Message and I'm so glad I did.  It was as if I was reading what I'd wrote about all through the week.

Romans 7
14-16
What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

17-20
But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

21-23
It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

24
I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

25
The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

----The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does.--- AMEN! 

I don't know where I'm going in this life, but I know God's coming with me.  This has really been a difficult week to share my true thoughts the way I did to people I know.  Thank you for not thinking I'm nuts, or for at least not saying I am. 

I know that I have done my body wrong for so many years.  It's going to take a lot to make it right.  I'm willing.  I truly am willing.  I know there's victory in Christ and this...this is where I'm at..So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary. 

All day, I've felt defeated.  Like I've played a hard game and lost... but losing was okay. I really wish I knew how to describe it.. it's like, I deserved it.  I'm not sad, because I feel like I gave everything, but it's a feeling like I don't have any fight in me.  I don't feel like fighting because it seems there's no purpose to it. There never was, but I still egged it on with God.  I guess the point that was being made, being drilled into me this week has won over. 

I surrender.

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." ~Galatians 2:20

 

Work through me, Lord, in every part of life. To you be all the glory. Amen!